You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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