how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
