I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
