this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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