Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i need some magic done to my vagina
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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