At least make sure they are 18
Why
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Randomize
