Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
