I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
