Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
