Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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