i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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