no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
