Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
