peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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