Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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