It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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