Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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