i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
