Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
