He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
