I hate all girls vehemently.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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