best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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