Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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