we made out on top of his cat.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
