my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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