If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
