Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
