i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
