I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize