my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
