Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
