Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
