Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
