so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
