My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
