He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
