hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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