I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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