11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
