Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
