Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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