Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
