My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
