I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just found puke in my bra..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
