Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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