I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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