morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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