She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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