Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
