I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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